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Review: Tim Hortons Oreo donut is angelic and devilish

Containing a day’s worth of sugar, the little delicacies are a sure-fire way to diabetes. If only they weren’t so amazingly good.

oreo-donut

There are some who cringe at the thought of Tim Hortons new Oreo donut. Not me.

Oreos are awesome. Donuts are awesome. How can something that combines the two not also be awesome?

And so it was with great anticipation that I stepped to the counter and saw the little critters sitting there, almost crying out my name from their glass prison. How could I not set one free?

The Oreo donut is a “premium” donut. If there’s ever been an indication that the word “premium” has jumped the shark, surely this is it. All donuts are equal in their greatness, so now putting them into separate classes indicates just how far humanity has fallen. We need an Occupy Tim Hortons protest, stat.

Anyhow, I suppose I can¬†understand the “premium” $1.49 price tag since the Oreo donut – can we just call it an Oreonut? – comes with a bunch more stuff on it, and in it, than the average donut.

For starters, it’s got a white Oreo-ish glaze on top, to which the signature black cookie crumbs stick. There’s an additional white glaze on top of that.

When you bite in, you discover even more white stuff – a goopy¬†filling not unlike what you might find in a Boston Cream donut. Except it’s whiter. And quite possibly sweeter.

Holy crap, the sweetness. Eating an Oreo donut is like having your throat sand-blasted with sugar – I guess sugar-blasted would be the more appropriate phrase.

This is understandably a concern for some. The Oreonut does, after all, contain 33 grams of sugar, or about seven teaspoons of the stuff. According to the American Health Association, men are only supposed to have about 37 grams of sugar a day while women aren’t supposed to have more than 25 grams. So yeah, the Oreo donut is basically a one-way ticket to diabetes.

But so what? It’s actually what I imagine an angel would taste like, if angels were real and if I were a cannibal into eating them.

Seriously. It’s like that old saw about how Inuit have hundreds of different words for snow. There are actually like a hundred different types of sweet going on in this donut. And all of them are good.

In the end, I think Tim Horton’s newest creation is actually more devilish than angelic, because it’s all I’ve been able to think about since. I can’t wait to have another, despite every logical instinct screaming the opposite.

I fear I may be addicted. I can hear those other poor Oreonuts crying for me to come free them. I don’t know how I’m going to resist. Don’t worry my lovelies, daddy is coming for you!

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